Inspiration rarely ever strikes when you are ready for it but it will catch you unawares when you are barely looking!
Inspiration loves playing hide and seek and if you are a creative, you know how hard it is to be inspired when you are staring at a clean slate. A white sheet of paper has never inspired me to write and it probably never will.
Inspiration also doesn’t have a favorite time of the day that I can catch it on. When I am on my study table ready to write, it decides to go out for a stroll, like that friend you can never count on to be by your side in times of need!
Want more? Here is another one: Inspiration is like that friend who is too busy to meet you and when they do show up, they are there only for 20 minutes before disappearing again
I mean come on, inspiration! Stop fucking around! I have had enough of this B.S. Now that I finally have you here, get ready for some REAL talk!
Stop talking to me when I am in the middle of my 3rd set of Bench press. You got me embarrassed the other day with the looks I got from dropping the weights.
Refrain from knocking on the door when I am on the toilet seat, too busy to get on with my day! I know you don’t like the noises I make in there but that does not give you the right to mess with me while I am in there cleaning up my mess!
Cease from poking me just when I am about to fall asleep god damn it! Go find someone else to draw those signs on. I have my dreams to look forward to!
This list is long so you better not go anywhere yet…
Let’s talk about the time you decided to show up in the shower! I mean, where are your manners? I know you don’t like my bathroom singing skills but there are better times in the day to have that conversation.
Then there is that time I was on the football pitch running with the ball.You left me with no face to show because of course your attention seeking ass had to come streaking on the pitch!
And what happened to you during that game of charades? Your insistence to keep jumping in made me completely forget what I needed to act out and as a result, I am officially the worst player in the team. The WORST yes!
I know I was doodling during that work meeting but that didn’t give you permission to distract me. How many times have we had this conversation eh? How many more times before you actually stop?
Then there is that time you almost got me killed! It is not a good idea to tickle the driver. Definitely not when the car is going 100 miles per hour! Jesus Christ we almost died that day. All of us, because of your stupid timing.
Let me catch a breath here…*panting*
because this last one *panting again*
put every other time to shame.
Last but not the least, of all the places, the one that really annoyed me and almost made me quit was when you decided to interfere just when I was getting it on with my wife. I mean you crossed a line there buddy! We almost came to blows there. It was a cat’s whisker away from being bloody.
I mean I can go on and on….
That time when I was in the middle of chowing down some fantastic steak, to that time when I was on the treadmill sprinting.
Your ability to get the timing wrong is unparalleled. I am surprised at this point that we are still friends who get along well from time to time and even benefit from each other. I have not seen a more ill mannered child in my lifetime!
Boy, what a beautiful relationship (I hope you didn’t miss the sarcasm there, which unlike your timing is always on point)! As much as I love spending time with you, your punctuality always leaves me wanting for more.
You and I have some sweet memories together and I would love to keep the relationships going but you make it harder than what it has to be. There are days when I just sit and ponder if it is the end of the road for us.
You know very well at this point that not hearing from you for a few days makes that fear come creeping back in. The fear that makes me feel inadequate. The fear that makes me doubt myself and question everything that I have done or want to do. I would rather spend time with you than get in a room with that fear!
So, I beg you! I beg you to get your act in order before it is too late and we have shunned each other for good!
I hope that 2020 is a better year for us. That this year, we are able to set some boundaries!
Until next time, Adios!